Friday, November 8, 2013

Let's start the new year off right!

Post by Mike
I know it’s early to be doing this, but one glance at the BCS Bowl projections by Jerry Palm gives me hope. And I’m not talking that baloney type of hope that the President sold the brain dead, but real hope that “Soft on Crime” will end up in the fetal position once again.

The BCS Championship match-up between the Tide and FSU could be an old school slobber knocker. The best of the SEC up against the best Quasi-SEC program, what could top that you ask?

Only one thing… a Rose Bowl match-up between Stanford and Ohio State.

Jump forward with me just for a moment to January 1, 2014. You’re nursing your head stretched out on the sofa with a fire going and the smell of collards and ham hocks fills the house. As the day moves along you regain your strength and begin to feel better when you realize it has in fact been three years since “Satan the Elf” made “Soft on Crime” his sissy with a 32-13 beat down in the SEC Championship Game. That one even made Teabow cry!

Oh the joyful memory! The warm fuzzy! A Florida humiliation and an Urban beat down all wrapped in one! The only way it would have been better would be if the Dawgs were delivering the pain, but hey… I’ll take it.

So then “Soft on Crime” curls up on the floor of his hotel room sucking his thumb and quits. Then doesn't, goes 7-and-5 in 2010, and then quits again leaving the Gators in a huge mess. You reap what you sow Florida.

So Urban does one season of ESPN. Ohio State is forced to fire the “Bullet Proof Sweater Vest” who is outrageously soft on crime, and goes looking. Who is out there that pretends to be squeaky clean, but in actuality is greasier than Waffle House bacon? Hmmm that’s a tough one.

The Buckeyes land “Soft on Crime” and all those delusional Midwestern football fans think they are back. After all, they have not been beaten over the last two seasons, and I am certain, during the run up to the bowls, we will hear so much talk about how they deserve to be in the title game it will give us all diarrhea.  

So if these bowl projections hold true, just be ready for the 5 PM kickoff on January 1, 2014. Then sit back and watch Stanford impose off-tackle brutality on Ohio State, laugh out loud and start the new year in good spirits!

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